A Normal Day?...

     It has been a rough week as far as everything goes. It just seems that everything has finally hit me pretty hard...Everywhere I look I see Chris, or parts of him scattered around no matter where I go. So I tried getting away for a few days, going to visit family outside my normal comfort zone. We ended up going to the store, and even though I didn't see him at every turn I felt just so overwhelmed, I tried my best to make it through...Making it through what a weird turn of phrase that is huh? How are you suppose to make it through?

     This has become my little bible, if I feel that a panic attack might be coming on, or I just feel full of too overwhelmed I take a moment to read through, and look at the areas marked down by my cousin Amber. This book is Amber's but it has become a constant help to me lately in holding things together. To take a breath  and  find a quiet place is the best thing that I have found to help side from a long walk out in the woods behind my house...

     Being around people feels like my heart is a jackhammer pounding down onto granite. My body breaks out in sweats, and I'm just hot and cold all at the same time...Getting out of the house to come visit my aunt Aggie I know was necessary. I'm not sure where to go from here, its just doing best to push through the day and make it to bed without crying, or having panic attack. How is anyone suppose to just go on with life when someone so important to them is just all of a sudden gone. Understanding is beyond any thesable possibility, but trying is all that can be done. 

     Learning to be around people again is certainly a hard experience, but a necessary one. In the end I hope that I will be able to go to the store without loosing my mind... Its been a hard day, but a good one, and very productive as far as my ability to be around people goes. Here is to hoping that tomorrow will prove to have an even better day. Please keep our family in your prayers, as well as the family of the young female sailor who passed earlier this week, especially her family. Its just going to start getting hard for them... 

     So the moral of this story is; even when things are tough there is always a silver lining. Find the thing that relaxes you, and make some time to do that thing each day, especially if its a rough one.

     For example, tonight I'm going to sit down, drink some tea, talk to my aunt, and maybe read a little, maybe solve a puzzle. These are just the things I do...

All Pictures Are In My Personal Collection