Northpointe, and Perl Jam

https://youtu.be/9U4bf5OPTdc

I remember doing an analysis of this song during my first semester at IUP Northpointe in Johnny H's class. The more I look back on my time spent in that class I wish I was taking that class each and every semester that has passed since then. The more I look at this song, I realize the importance of that course for the following years of my life.

I just wanted to take a few minutes to reflect on that uncertain time in my life.

I remember walking into that building being so scared, and afraid of the judgment of those around me. I was just coming back to school after losing my brother, and being dumped by a man who promised me the world on a string. I was broken, scared, and so fragile. I remember seeing the familiar face of my friend Hannah, and the two guys who will become my friends Stephen, and Justin. I remember walking into my first class of the day, an English course I felt so entitled to believe that I wouldn't have to take because I had AP credits that had long expired.

The carpet was the weather resistant kind, the scratchy kind that only cats really like, and the blinds drawn down, and the light sealed tight on the outside reflection of the aluminum. I remember looking around at the rows of tables wondering where the professor was. I did see a few older members of the class, but they were wearing sweatpants, and couldn't be this instructor. I saw everyone gathered around a man who was wearing a dress shirt, jeans, and a vest. He looked like he should be a member of a slightly aging rock band from the 90's. His hair dirty blonde with streaks of lighter hues. He was smiling, and talking to people, and I just felt like he would be a person I would have to avoid. This person looked like someone who has that attractive quality that behind the persona was a judgmental and crass. I remember getting ready for class, and not catching a single sight of this supposed professor. I felt nervous and uncomfortable, but sat in the front anyway so I could pay attention.

I fidgeted with my pencils, planner, and notebooks. After the class was due to start I looked around confused. And no sooner did I start looking around did the rocker band guy I thought I had to avoid stood at the front of the class and started taking role. The rocker guy I thought was just super popular with the members of this community was our professor! I learned quickly that my first impression was wrong, and that this person genuinely cared for his students, and all those around him. He was likeable, kind, and still managed to teach the entire class proficiently .

During the two semesters I had Johnny I learned more about myself than I ever had anticipated. I started the process of working through the wounds of the past few years, and started to feel okay. More than that I also started to feel okay with who I was as a person. Johnny taught me that it's okay to be different, and that any person has the opportunity to change, and break the mold from where they think they are stuck. I learned so much in those classrooms. Johnny's class taught me that there is always something new that can be discovered in yourself through seeking the opportunity to relate to others.

I know that this blog is going to be an utter mess to post, but I just wanted to open up, and thank Johnny, and Northpointe for everything they taught me. By learning to be comfortable with myself I learned that it was okay to be different from those around me, and to keep changing with the person I was becoming. I learned that by putting yourself in uncomfortable situations you are able to develop in character. I know this will be repeating, but the most important thing that I have learned, and continue to take from that class even now is that it is alright to be myself, and that I am not inherently wrong for being who I am as a person.

If it weren't for Johnny H. I would have never been able to get the courage to move away from home again, to stand up for myself, or to seek something more from my life than what I always thought I would have to settle for. If it weren't for Johnny H. I wouldn't have the amazing friendships, and relationships I have in my life today. If it weren't for this Goo Goo Dolls loving professor I would have receded into myself, and would have went into identity foreclosure. I would have never seen the giant sign in front of me that was telling me to STEP THIS WAY! in bold, and underlined letters. I am now able to make decisions, and take chances on people.

For me, the first steps toward doing all these things started when I took Johnny's class in January of 2013. I am now living with an amazing boyfriend who I have been with for almost two years, I am about ready to graduate with my BS in Psychology from SRU, and have the full intent of going for a MA in counseling. I work at an amazing facility that I love, and I intend on slowly climbing the proverbial latter. I still write, and I still look at music with an appreciation past the shallow sensations of feeling upon listening to a combination of lyrics and music.

People talk about the "college experience", but honestly the college experience for me was making friends, going to health food stores, and getting lost on the way to Sheetz to grab some lunch. It was BS'ing with Mr. Dochrity, scheduling with Mr. Muth, and learning that I am beautiful, and a good person. It was learning that my self-worth was there, and that it was ready to leave from behind the rock it had been hiding for so long. It was sitting in Johnny's class finding that everyone else was feeling the same things I was, and that I was not alone. Everyday at SRU I miss Northpointe, I miss the days with the familiar settings, familiar people, and the feeling of home. For me, Northpointe was the best college experience I feel anyone could ask for.